Back in March, the blues headed to New York for a team bonding trip. They seemed to enjoy themselves, look at the joy in Leon Osman's face for example:





Words fail me!

Tags: leon osman | everton

What do Carlos Bocanegra, Hameur Bouazza, Emile Heskey and 48 others have in common?

They've all got more Premiership goals than Andriy Shevchenko.

That list in full:

51 players with more goals than Shevchenko

Premiership scorers 2006-07

19 Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

16 Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd)

15 Benni McCarthy (Blackburn)

13 Wayne Rooney (Man Utd)

12 Kevin Doyle (Reading), Yakubu Aiyegbeni (Middlesbrough), Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)

11 Frank Lampard (Chelsea), Nicolas Anelka (Bolton), Obafemi Martins (Newcastle), Darren Bent (Charlton), Bobby Zamora (West Ham), Robin van Persie (Arsenal), Andrew Johnson (Everton)

10 Thierry Henry (Arsenal), Mark Viduka (Middlesbrough), Nwankwo Kanu (Portsmouth)

9 Peter Crouch (Liverpool), Brian McBride (Fulham), Emile Heskey (Wigan), Dimitar Berbatov (Tottenham)

8 Gareth Barry (Aston Villa), Louis Saha (Man United), Robbie Keane (Tottenham), Gilberto Silva (Arsenal), Matthew Taylor (Portsmouth), Mikel Arteta (Everton), Rob Hulse (Sheff Utd), Gabriel Agbonlahor (Aston Villa), Jermain Defoe (Tottenham)

7 Steven Gerrard (Liverpool), Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Man Utd), Shabani Nonda (Blackburn), Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal), Leroy Lita (Reading), Craig Bellamy (Liverpool)

6 Paul Scholes (Man Utd), Salomon Kalou (Chelsea), Gary Speed (Bolton), Henri Camara (Wigan), Hameur Bouazza (Watford), Joey Barton (Man City), Jermaine Jenas (Tottenham), Kevin Davies (Bolton), Morten Gamst Pedersen (Blackburn)

5 Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham), Michael Ballack (Chelsea), El Hadji Diouf (Bolton), Benjani Mwaruwari (Portsmouth), Park Ji-sung (Man Utd), Tim Cahill (Everton)

Tags: andriy shevchenko | chelsea

Now for the worst:

• Andriy Shevchenko - £30m. 'Nuff said. Looks a passenger and along with Ballack caused the change in formation (to accommodate them) that has made Chelsea less effective.
  


• Ashley Young - This still might turn out to be a good signing but just not this season. The £9.75m fee was always for potential rather than current level of play and it's certainly looked that way as Ashley struggles to fit in.
  


• Stilian Petrov - I think this transfer highlights the difference in quality between the Scottish and English premier leagues, Petrov was the Steven Gerrard of the SPL, in the EPL he is better compared to Damien Francis.
  


• Carlos Tevez/Javier Mascherano - West Ham weren't doing too badly until this bizarre deal and though Tevez is behind the late, late fight backm it's too little too late.
  

• Ashley Cole - Looks a shade of the player Arsenal sold and Chelsea have missed Gallas more than they've benefited from Cole who has done nothing that Wayne Bridge couldn't have done.
  


• Matthew Upson - Has he played 45 minutes yet? Will he before he leaves? Doubt it.
  

Edit: As Aidan rightly points out in the comments. I've got the wrong Petrov! Now updated - my sincere apologies to Martin who no doubt has performed admirably this season.

Tags: premiership | football

Rest in peace Alan. One of the finest players to ever call Goodison Park their home ground and a member of the Holy Trinity along with Harvey and Kendall.

A sad day.

Tags: everton | alan ball

The summer is a time of hope for football fans. The season past is either remembered for it's triumphs and achievements or cast away to the back of your mind as you dream of the signings to be made. Constantly checking the teams website/s for news of that galactico you've been expecting (only to find that David Weir's contract has been renewed). Anyway, this is a review of the best and worst signings of the season.

First, the best:

• Benny McCarthy - A snip at the £2.5m that Mark Hughes paid Porto, the South African has scored for fun both domestically and in Europe.


• Joleon Lescott - I wasn't sure what to think when we agreed a deal that could rise to £5m for an untested centre half with possibly suspect kneecaps. Joleon though, has been nothing short of brilliant for Everton, seemingly equally adept at left back as in the centre, he is calm under pressure, quick of feet and mind and a goal threat to boot. I've lost count of he number of times I've seen him nonchalantly stroll out of the defence having just taken the ball from the oncoming attacked like candy from a fat baby.


• Dimitar Berbatov - People doubted Jol when he brought the Bulgarian to Spurs, memories of Rebrov were still painfully unforgotten and the hefty fee of £10.5m would require some real results in response. Berbatov didn't disappoint, his all round play has been superb and Spurs have had a partnership upfront rather than merely two strikers. Sublimely talented and not goal shy, Jol unnearthed a gem in the Godfather fan.
  


• Nwankwo Kanu - Went off the boil after Christmas but Kanu and the man below were the Sol (ahem) reasons why Pompey came out of the traps like lightning.
  

• Sol Campbell - Formed a solid partnership with Linvoy Primus and their pairing with former England teammate David James made for a watertight backline.


• I feel I should also mention two inspired loan signings, namely the deals that brought Jonothan Woodgate and Henrik Larsson to the Premiership. Woodgate shored up a Boro defence struggling to cope without the influence of veteran Southgate at it's heart. While United received a mid season pick-me-up from the tried and tested Larsson, just as injuries were starting to take hold. He may not have scored many, but his contribution was crucial.

I'll be naming and shaming the worst signings later this week.

Tags: premiership | football

Dictionary.com seem to have come full circle; I originally came by the web pseudonym of prolix (or pr0lix for legal reasons...) courtesy of their Word of the Day service about 4 years ago. And would you believe what I found in my inbox this afternoon? They've only gone and recycled, you can't tell me they've used every word in the language already. Pnar.



Tags: dictionary

Oh no wait, that bandaged and bloodied warrior was our own Lee Carsley!



It's been so long now, that I couldn't imagine a season without a bald maniac in our midfield.

Carsley has had a renaissance of late and has arguably been our best player since the turn of the year, it certainly highlights what we missed last season and how our form suffered as a result. I read a great comment about 'Roberto' Carsley this morning, it summarises succinctly how Evertonians' have changed their minds regarding the Irishman:

"It was a sad day when he arrived, it will be a sadder day when he leaves."

It was certainly true that when Walter Smith paid Derby a not inexpensive fee for Lee, we wondered what the hell he was doing - a familiar feeling under the stewardship of Smith. He was signed on the same day as a well past it David Ginola and understandably it went unnoticed by football at large. When Real Madrid came in out of the blue for Thomas Gravesen 2 seasons ago to shore up their midfield and replace the departed Makelele, it was a common joke on Toffees that they'd got the wrong man - Carsley was the enforcer of our Mitchell Bruvvers midfield pairing - Gravesen, the enigmatic creative spark. Perhaps with Gravesen now long since gone and Madrid still leaking goals like a punctured sieve they'll admit their mistake and come back for our Lee. I'm not sure they could afford him anyway.

Tags: lee carsley | everton | fulham

In his inimitable style, Charlie Brooker perfectly sums up the way that The Apprentice is headed and dragging the reputation of women in business with it:

"Things get worse (and therefore paradoxically better) this week, as the contestants' task consists of being handed £200 and commanded to make money via any means necessary. Depressingly, the girls spend half their time bickering and the other half selling kisses to pub drunks. What with this, and the incident last year where the girls swanned around in low-cut tops flirting with barrow boys to get a discount on some bruised fruit, it seems no one's keener to set the cause of women in business back 30 years than some of the women themselves. At this rate, they'll be giving blowjobs in phone boxes by series eight."

Tags: charlie brooker | apprentice